Valentine’s Day is not always hearts, roses and fluffy teddy bears. Sometimes, for some people, Valentine’s Day can feel incredibly lonely. Whether you are grieving a breakup, a divorce, a situationship, or someone who is no longer here. If this year love was not on your cards in the way you may have wanted, then this is for you.
1.You have to understand: Today is NOT a final verdict
Valentine’s Day is not a referendum on your desirability, your relationship success, or your future.
It’s a marketing ritual that accidentally doubles as an emotional amplifier.
Feeling lonely today does not mean:
• you are unlovable
• you will be alone long-term
• something is missing in you
It just means the contrast is louder today.
2. Locate and confront the loneliness
Instead of distracting, try taking a good look at the mirror and firmly ask yourself:
“What kind of lonelyness am I feeling?”
Because there are different ones:
• Romantic loneliness means wanting a specific person
• Existential loneliness means wanting to be seen
• Situational loneliness means missing shared rituals
Valentine’s usually triggers existential loneliness
It’s not “I need love.”
It’s “I want someone to witness this day with me.”
3. Replace the ritual not erase it
Trying to ignore the day often backfires.
Instead, create a parallel ritual
Not a “self-love bath” cliché.
Something mundane but intentional (your poetic territory).
Examples that may fit your aesthetic:
• cook something simple but do it slowly
• walk somewhere ordinary (supermarket, street corner)
• buy yourself something small and useless
• listen to a song you’d hypothetically play with someone
You’re not pretending to replace love.
You’re refusing to let the day be owned by absence.
4. Resist comparison theatre
Today it’s all about performance. You are not observing profound expressions of love, just some lousy bits of rehersed intimacy.
Valentine’s Day is not about rewarding raw emotions but about praising stage presence and even the happiest of relationships feel immense pressure to perform today.
What you are seeing is not reality, but a fancy snapshot of a well advertised product.
7. Remember: this is a bad day not a bad life
Loneliness spikes when everyone suddenly synchronizes and starts advertizing there relationships as commodities. This feeling will soften tomorrow without you fixing anything. So, be a bit softer with yourself today and understand that what you are experiencing is not a life stage you are stuck in, you are just passing through an atmosphere, and sight can be pretty blurry with all those red balloons in then way.
Also Read: Valentine’s Day: art through love
